“Dogfight” Top 15 worst Church Signs

I had a wonderful day today playing in a Dogfight, (it’s a silly little men’s golf game for those who are unaware).  I had the opportunity to spend 5 hours with 3 other guys whom I had never met!  IT WAS AWESOME!  I rode in the cart with a guy named Jeff Holder.  We had a mutual friend in common and then hit it off and had a real blast playing golf together.   (By the way, our team was one of the winning teams today!).  From the beginning, he made it very clear that he was a believer.  He told me about his church and his family and about his story.  It is such a joy to hang out with believers who are likeminded and in one accord.  Unfortunately, the opposite is true as well, it’s a real drag to hang out with believers who are constantly bickering and fighting over things that in the light of eternity are not worth fighting over.  No wonder Christians can’t reach the world for Jesus, they can’t even get along with each other.  Anyway, the dogfight was not a fight at all, it was a great time!
Here’s a little blurb that I wanted to pass on to ya!  Enjoy!

Top 15 worst church signs ever!!!!!

15 – “Walmart is not the only saving place!”

Pass the cheese please!!!

14 – “CH_ _ CH – what’s missing?  U R” 

ST _ PID…

#13 – “Turn before you burn!”  

Or you will cry as you fry!  WOW!
#12 – “Get saved or microwaved”  

Umm…I’ve pretty much read the entire Bible and it mentions nothing of nuclear fallout in hell!

#11 – “Read your Bible, it will scare the hell out of you.”  

Which is EXACTLY why I read my Bible!!!  I want all of the hell out of me!!!

#10 – “Reserved Parking for Church Members Only – All unauthorized vehicles will be Towed Away”

What constitutes an “unauthorized vehicle” in a church parking lot anyway?

#9 – “Get on-line with God and download your worries.”  

Even though I’m not very good with computers, (Just ask our church staff…EVEN I KNOW IT’S UPLOAD!!!

#8 – “When you get tired of entertainment come back to church.”  

Seriously–we’re not exciting at all!!!  Wouldn’t you just love to be in a church that sported this sign?

#7 – “Where will you be spending eternity?  Smoking or non-smoking?”  

AND…would you like a wine list?  How about a high chair?

#6 – “If you’re ashamed to say, ‘Merry Christmas’ then Jesus is ashamed of you.”  

Actually…I think He is WAY more ashamed of the attitudes some Christians sport!

#5 – “Don’t let worries kill you–let the church help.”  

Seriously–one business meeting will just about do it!

#4 – “Bring your sins to the alter and drop ‘em like they’re hot.”  

Nothing like using a Snoop Dog reference on the church sign!

#3 – “Stop, drop and roll doesn’t work in hell.”  

Neither do air conditioners and ice makers!

#2 – “There are no boats on the lake of fire”

I know…because if they were then they would catch on fire!!!

#1 – “A tisket, a tasket, a condom or a casket.”  This one just HAD to make God happy!!!